Sexual Harassment: Is separate space helping to integrate the sexes?

New York Times: Indian Women Find New Peace in Rail Commute

The above article discusses how in India, there are now separate train cars for 'ladies only' to commute due to the sexual harassment that occurs from their male peers.

Believe me, I understand what they're feeling.  In some Bangladesh buses, the front seats are saved for women.  A few weeks ago, I sat in the back of a bus for the first time and was groped by a man; actually, a man who worked for the bus.  I smacked him hard on the head but that, of course, changes nothing.  I argue to sit in the front of the bus from now on to avoid harassment...

But I question:  is creating separate space harmful or helpful when you are trying to integrate the sexes into the same space?  The title is misleading, saying that there is "new peace" -- but the article goes on to discuss how men are harassing the women more, even defecating on the ladies' train to show disapproval.  Men are not happy - why?  Because their power is being taken away, of course.  Now not only can women get jobs, but now they are encouraged because they can feel comfortable commuting on these new trains.

Until recently, I've played devil's advocate by supporting the hijab, the Muslim head scarf.  I frequently recite something a female friend from Malaysia told me:

"When I was of age, my parents started making me wear the hijab.  I hated it, oh it was the worst.   I used to go to the mall with my friends after school and we'd rip off our hijabs and let our hair flow free.  But as I got older, I started to understand what it meant.  It wasn't to cover me up, but to protect me.  There are a lot of bad people out there, and they know that I am a woman of Allah.  It's like Christians wearing a cross around their neck to show their beliefs..."

I'd share this in my Women and Gender Studies classes, saying that after living in India, sometimes I just wanted to cover up too, hide my body so I won't be harassed.  It is common to say that women should cover up in order not to tempt men into committing sinful deeds, like harassment or rape.  My female friend in Malaysia said that they feel more protected from the eyes of dirty men in their hijab.  Outside of religious context, I compare the 'ladies only' trains to the wearing of the hijab for the purpose of protecting women from wandering eyes and hands.

But is hiding and protecting going to change the attitude that it is alright for men to inappropriately touch women?  Is wearing a hijab going to stop a man from realizing you have breasts that he could grope?  Is keeping all the women at the front of the bus or in separate cars suddenly disintegrate their immoral desires?  Instead of separating women, shouldn't they be teaching men to withhold and destroy these desires?  When did hiding or running away from the problem actually solve it?

What needs to happen is an attitude change: a change in the male perspective from aggression to acceptance and understanding of the positive effects of women empowerment.  I've read articles of both Western and local women and men giving lectures about positive aspects of women's empowerment to men.  I've read signs placed in public spaces by the government and NGOs declaring the value of women's housework.  But how often is our life changed by reading a sign during traffic?

One major problem I believe is implementation via the police.  The NYT article states that violence against women as increased: "Between 2003 and 2007, rape cases rose by more than 30 percent, kidnapping or abduction cases rose by more than 50 percent, while torture and molestation also jumped sharply."  A story is told about a woman who was beat by her husband for having a Western haircut.  What happened to the husband?  Did he do what is commonly done and pay off the police and got off scot-free?

The government is in favor of women's rights and empowerment, clearly stated in their order to universities to allow women to wear jeans, though the universities consider it 'indecent.'  The government funded the 'ladies only' trains in an effort to allow women to take outside jobs.  But, how often does the government force implementation on the rights violations of women?  How often are men imprisoned for rape and assault against women?  The violent acts are increasing, is imprisonment increasing at the same rate?

If Indian women, and the government they vote for* are making the decision to step outside the home and break down traditional patriarchal structures, hiding in private cars and under loose clothes will not change inherent animosity from those who take stock in patriarchy.  The women and it's government must be prepared to fight and show that this isn't temporary.  They must not stand silently during harassment, and the government should prove that it will not stand for the increased violence that occurs.  They must prove that this change is not temporary.

For further information, check out the Pink Campaign for Women's Empowerment in India.

*India is the world's largest democracy.

And thanks, Courtney Parks, for sending me this article!

Behind the Paagli Didi

For those who are new to the World That Is Amanda – the title of this blog may seem strange. So let me put fingers to keys and share with you the meaning behind paagli didi.

I wrote this last year when I worked in a shelter in Kolkata; a shelter for young women and girls who have been abused.  Working with two other students, we became close to these girls simply by spending time with them as they got ready in the morning.  Click here for one story.

Without language comprehension, I learned more about the horrific power these young women were subject to.  I saw my own strength, then the need that surrounded me, the need for that strength. It was here where I learned my role: paagli didi. In Bangla, it translates to ‘crazy older sister,’ and was the nickname given to me by the women I loved. Originally meant as a tease for myself and my friend Emily, I did not comprehend the gravity of this phrase’s precision. Its meaning has left such an indelible impression on me that these words, in Bengali, are tattooed on my wrist. It was here, at the feet of my Bengali sisters, that I discovered my role as paagli didi. With the concern and wisdom of an older sister, I needed to share my instinctive energy and compassion, and in turn, learn from others. Big sisters learn from their siblings as much as she teaches them.  It’s the perfect role for me: I am not a saint, nor am I selfish, I am a sister and we exchange love for growth.

holding hands with one of my crazy little sisters

In short, I have so much love that I want to encompass anyone who needs it.  I don’t think of myself as particularly talented, but I give a lot of hugs, I know how to start a thrilling dance party, and I speak with a lot of conviction.  It’s a slow process, but it is not just a career goal, but a lifestyle.

Click here for additional stories of my little sisters.

God is Great

Finishing up my last few days of logistics, I decided to apply for my India visa here in the US (hoping for less hassle).  I am visiting some old classmates in Kolkata for some holidays, especially the Durga Puja in October :)

Waiting on line to apply for a visa, I wound up chatting with an interesting man from Hyderabad.  Talking about our families and careers, he shared that he is currently a financial adviser, teaching people to become financially independent.  I asked what his biggest piece of advice was and he said the first step to becoming financially independent is to know what you want.  Interesting, huh?

So standing on this visa line, there are twenty signs of Incredible !ndia.  We started discussing the different states we've visited in India.  He was describing Kerala then stopped, remembering the grandeur.  I agreed, that there were too many words to describe the beauty of India and he responded that the US is the same: "My wife and I are trying to go to Alaska, I hear it's...stunning."

There we were: two people of different birthplaces, loving the other's native country.  I wondered if our desire for the other country was heightened by being in the presence of a native.  But then he said it as perfect as possible, "God is great." It's not about nationality, it's being part of something greater and appreciating it.